The Land of Fruit and Nuts Re-visited

by John Delach

When I last reported on the popular sentiment in Golden State on March 8, 2017, #Calexit was all the rage. To hell with the remaining 49 states, the beautiful were cutting loose and moving out. Oh dear, it appears that something bad happened somewhere along the line. It seems that Louise Marinelli, the president of the prime movers, Yes California, shut the effort down on April 17, 2017. A report read that…” Marinelli’s connection to Russia was hurting their funding.” And so, it goes.


Do not despair, boys and girls, the good folks in the Land of F & N never leave good things alone. Denied the opportunity for a messy divorce from Uncle, what a better notion than to blow up your own neighborhood? Truth be told, these good folks have too much good weather and too much time on their hands. I recall the proverb, “Idleness is the devil’s workshop.”


Their latest devil is Timothy Draper, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur. The New York Times reported on June 13th, that Mr. Draper is leading a coalition…”to break up California, citing its unwieldy size. In November, California residents will get their chance to vote on his latest proposal: to divide the world’s fifth-largest economy into three separate states.”


Draper’s proposals would establish three entities, Northern CA, Southern CA and plain old California. (I wonder what their Zip Codes would be? NC and SC are already taken. I predict CN and CS.)


Northern California would run south from the Oregon border through Silicon Valley. Plain old California would be a super-sized Gaza strip occupying a coastal preserve about fifty-miles wide to just south of LA. Southern California would be land-locked until it reached the Pacific south of LA. From there it would enjoy a coast to the Mexican border including San Diego.


Insanity, you betcha! Still, Draper’s initiative will be on the ballot this November. Draper garnered enough signatures to put it on the ballot. Such is the current state of the State of California in this day and age.




As God is my witness, only a day after The Times published this piece, the following headline ran in the paper of record: At Risk in a Big Quake:39 of San Francisco’s Top High Rises.


Where can you go

when there aint no

San Francisco?


Better get ready to

tie up de boat in Idaho!


This is serious. Thomas Fuller reported about a U.S. Geological Survey that lists 39 downtown skyscrapers, hotels and office buildings potentially vulnerable to a large quake. Mr. Fuller noted:


“Engineers have known about defects in certain steel-framed buildings since 1984, when shaking from the Northridge earthquake in Los Angeles fractured critical joints in more than 60 buildings, bringing one very close to collapse.”


Oh dear, oh dear, but the F&N crowd could care less. They live the good life and make up their own rules as they live the life they love and love the life they lead.


Sorry to ruin your day, those of you who live and / or work in San Francisco but here’s a partial list of vulnerable buildings:


The Hartford at 650 California Street and no name buildings at 425-555-201-101&345. On my, oh my, oh my; the list includes the heart of San Francisco’s elite business addresses, One, Two and Three Embarcadero Center. Major corporations are not exempt including, Pacific Gas & Electric, Chevron Tower, Citicorp Center and the iconic Transamerica Tower. The list also included hotels like the Hilton San Francisco, the San Francisco Marriott and the Hyatt at Union Square.


Mr. Fuller subsequently reported his own “come to Jesus moment” on the Monday before his piece ran in Tuesday’s Science Times. “It was around 7:30 p.m. I was sitting in my 12th-floor office. Then the building jolted and rattled like a train lurching out of a station.


“It was a mini earthquake, a 3.7 magnitude centered across the San Francisco Bay.”


What bothered Mr. Fuller was his workplace was on the list! How do you say, “Too close to home?”


Fuller decided that he owed his colleagues a note of warning about his forthcoming piece. “I sent a note to 20 or so reporters and editors in the bureau to alert them both to the issue and the story about it.


“What came back from them was an escalating series of bad puns.


‘I’m shaken. I hope it doesn’t fracture our community.’


‘What a jolt. I’m sure this story will create quite a stir.’


‘I’ll be working from home for the next, oh, seven years.”


Do you know the swim?

you better learn quick, Jim.

If you don’t know that swim,

better sing thee hymn.