The Land of Fruit and Nuts

by John Delach

Day after day, more people come to L.A.

Don’t you tell anybody the whole place slipping away.

Where can you go, when there’s no San Francisco?

Better get ready to tie up the boat in Idaho.


Do you know the swim, you better learn quick Jim.

If you don’t know the swim, better sing the hymn.


By Shango


Have you heard about “Calexit?” I’m not sure when first conceived or its prime mover but this movement to secede from the land of US really gained momentum after Donald Trump was elected the 45th President of the United States. If Mecca exists for the “Trump Is Not My President” crowd, it is without question the Golden State. And well it should be. After all Hillary clobbered The Donald by almost 4,270 million votes in the land of fruit and nuts. Since she also outgained him by almost 1,733 million in New York, this meant that The Donald bested her by 3,138 million votes in the remaining 48 states.


This head shaker of a divide finally gave credence to a point I made many years ago to a visiting Brit. Way back in 1975, I played guide for Roger on his first trip to the states. His next stop after New York was San Francisco and I explained to him over dinner: “You will fly about five hours non-stop and all that time you will be over the rest of our country. It is important that you never confuse New York or California with what you flew over as that is the United States of America.”


Our past election has stunned the Left Coast, shocking folks and raising Calexit’s profile. People are fit to be tied bordering on hysteria. They want out. I kid you not. In fact, California’s Secretary of State, Alex Padillo, cleared the “# Calexit Independence Referendum” crowd to begin collecting signatures on January 26. They have 180 days from that date to collect the required 585,407 valid signatures from registered voters to place a proposition on the 2018 ballot. The clock is ticking and I estimate their cutoff date to be July 21, 2017.


The Los Angeles Times set out what follows:  If the measure… “gains approval by a majority of voters, it would repeal clauses in the California Constitution stating that the state is an ‘inseparable part of the United States’ and that the U.S. Constitution is the ‘supreme law of the land,’ according to the title and summary prepared by the state attorney general’s office.


Approval…”would (also) place another question on the ballet in 2019, asking, whether California should become a separate country. If at least half the registered voters participate in the vote, with at least 55% of those voting to approve, the results would be treated as California’s declaration of independence.” That vote would be scheduled for March 5, 2019.


The #Calexit crowd argues: “As the sixth largest economy in the world, California is more economically powerful than France and has a population larger than Poland. Point by point, California compares and competes with countries, not just the 49 other states.”


“In our view, the United States of America represents so many things that conflict with Californian values…” (Emphasis added.)


They go on to make “Nine Simple Points” to make their case. I invite you to examine this combination of new speak, P.C. and left-wing mumbo-jumbo at “” but here is part of Point 1. Peace and Security: “The only reason terrorists might want to attack us is because we are part of the United States and are guilty by association.”


I pray the Supreme Deity that put all the oil in the Middle East, let the Mets win the 1969 and 1986 World Series, the NY Football Giants win Super Bowls XXV, XLII and XLVI, and the Patriots to win their improbable Super Bowl really exists. I fall down on my knees pleading for one more improbable miracle:


Lord: Let the fruit and nuts go!


Picture the 2020 election: “The Senate would have two fewer Democrats. The House of Representatives would lose 38 Democrats and just 14 Republicans. The U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, among the most liberal in the nation, would be changed irrevocably.”


May I be so bold to suggest my choice for the first Commissar of the Peoples Collective of California?


May I have the envelope: “Oh my God it’s: Comrade Nancy Pelosi.”


No, wait, there’s been a mistake:


Our first commissar is really Comrade Maxine Waters.


Author’s note: “On The Out Side Looking In,” will not appear on March 15 and will resume on March 22.