Good Riddance to February
by John Delach
All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray,
I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day.
I’d be safe and warm if I was in L.A.;
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day.
February is a good month to hate. Personally I’ve hated February since I was old enough to see the writing on the wall and the only reason that it took me so long to utterly detest the second month of the year is my birthday comes in February. Growing up celebrating a birthday on February 22 was grand. I had the luxury of being off from school every year. Several times my mother took me to Manhattan for lunch at the Automat and a first-run movie at the Paramount, the Palace, Radio City or the Roxy. Fortunately I graduated from primary school before the Feds ruined my birthday together with George and Abe by stripping both of their holidays replacing them with that satanic substitute, President’s Day. President’s Day indeed, what baloney! Who celebrates the birth of lesser presidents like Pierce or Buchanan, Harrisons (both of them) Hayes, Arthur or Coolidge? Balderdash, we might as well celebrate Tom Dewey’s or Adali Stevenson’s birthdays as national holidays.
Ah, but I digress, the issue before us is the horror of February. Our discontent is not limited to snow zones although they have been clobbered. Lake effect snow has delivered its share of misery from the Dakotas through Chicago and Cleveland to Buffalo, east across New York State, through Albany, into Massachusetts hitting Springfield and Worchester hard and often. Nor’easters have been especially cruel to the New England coast dropping tons of snow on Boston where the head of the MBTA, Beverly Scott, was reduced to speaking in tongues during a news conference on the day before she resigned. That’s what eight feet of snow can do to a human being!
Not content, to paralyze the Mid-West and the Northeast, the Jet Stream dipped further and further south bringing chaos and mayhem to the Sun Belt. Ice storms hit Texas, freezing temperatures in Georgia and Florida, the Carolinas and Virginia. Snow, ice, wind and cold began soon as Super Bowl XLIX ended continuing on and on and on throughout the month. (You decide if this was God’s payback for under inflated footballs?)
February is, has been and always will be a horrible month. Each year, February produces another Valley Forge, a Stalingrad or a Chosin Reservoir. Sieges to be endured huddled up, house bound, held hostage hoping power doesn’t fail or pipes burst. What do we get in return, Punxsutawney Pete, Ash Wednesday and Lent!
Good riddance February, good riddance and goodbye.
Then I’m laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Where the New York City winters
Aren’t bleeding me