John Delach

Needless to say, the outbreak of listeria in a plant Boar’s Head contracted with in Virginia to produce their brand of liverwurst is a major crisis for this brand, the premier cold cut processor and distributor throughout the New York Metropolitan area.

Boar’s Head radio advertisements historically took the high road: We’re Boar’s Head and all the other deli meats and cheeses are not. The snobbery in those ads was complete. They warned the public that just because a deli or a super market proudly informed their customers that they carried and served Boar’s Head products, you Mr, Miss, Mrs or MS customers should be alert to the deli worker trying to substitute an inferior product. People swore by Boar’s Head.

But that lousy plant in Virginia may have ruined everything! That listeria outbreak killed nine people and sickened dozens. Liverwurst was the main culprit. Boar’s Head reputation has been badly shaken and must be saved, otherwise the company’s very existence may become questionable.

Last week, Boar’s Head announced that they have ceased doing business with that flawed plant. They didn’t stop there. That announcement also stated that Boar’s Head had permanently ended producing their brand of liverwurst.

Least we forget the individuals who deliver the Boar’s Head products to stores from the corner delis to supermarkets and giants like Walmart and Target are  independent operators who buy those routes from existing owners who want to retire or move on in life. Those routes are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and maybe even millions.

Dan Berry  wrote a piece about the demise of liverwurst for The New York Times that he called: “Farewell to a Lost Love of Lunches Past.”

In his piece, he made this comment, “Besides, who in the world will bemoan a diminished supply of a cold cut that has the look and consistency of wet cement? Whose very name is an argument for vegetarianism?”

“Me, for one. And as I write this, I can almost hear the long awkward pause before someone, somewhere, sheepishly whispers, ‘Me too.”

And so I, John Delach, declare, me too, but I don’t whisper it. I shout it at the top of my lungs: ME TOO!

I didn’t discover liverwurst until I was an adult. To me, the idea of eating liver was a death wish and, because of its name, I considered liverwurst to be the same thing. We had plenty of bars and delicatessens in Ridgewood, being a German community. My Mom lived on a tight budget and most of the time we ate Taylor Ham and Bologna. On good days she ordered Virginia Ham and the king of cold cuts, Roast Beef on very good days.

In my retirement, since 2000, I learned the joy of going to the extensive deli counter at North Shore Farms, one of our local super markets. Without a doubt, a liverwurst sandwich became one of my favorite treats. I would order my sandwich on rye bread with a generous slab of deli-mustard and nothing else. Another favorite was prosciutto ham and provolone cheese, again on rye with deli mustard.

I went out of my way to limit treating myself to these marvelous sandwiches as I do for my most special treat, pastrami. Ben’s is my destination for this delicious treat. Again, my taste is simple, plain pastrami on their special rye bread. I don’t concern myself with mustard as each table at Ben’s has a full container of deli mustard which I use extensively.                   

Their livelihoods are on the line and Boar’s Head must salvage their name and reputation to save the company and its deliverers to re-gain the public’s trust.

It’s a mess, but admittedly, pales when compared to the possible results in the coming  presidential election.

So instead of ending this piece with any form of morbidity, I have chosen instead,  dear reader, to introduce you to a different take on liverwurst by the late, great satirical musician, Alan Sherman and his 1960s take on this cold cut:

(Sung to the rhythm of “Down by the Riverside)

When you go to the delicatessen store,

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

I repeat what I said before,

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Oh, buy the corned beef if you must.

The pickled herring you can trust,

And the lox puts you in orbit AOK.

But that big hunk of liverwurst

Has been there since October First,

And today is the Twenty-Third of May.

So, when you go to the delicatessen store,

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

It’ll make your insides awful sore,

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

Don’t buy the liverwurst.

On the Outside Looking In will not publish next Wednesday and will return October 9^th.