John Delach

On The Outside Looking In

Month: February, 2026

Of Fish and Fowl

Edited by John Delach

February 2026, originally edited in 2010              

This piece is one of my favorites. It was written by my friend, Brian Davidson. I edited it and thought up the title. His piece reflects the man he was. We lost Brian to cancer in 2016. RIP Brian.

            George, the owner of the sporting goods store handed me my new annual Alaskan fishing license. “Where are you from?”

            “Houston,” I replied. “I got a job with a contractor to settle insurance claims so I’ll be up here for thirty-days at a time for six to nine months. I don’t read much, hate television and I don’t want to spend my free time in bars so I figured I’d try fishing”

            “Well, you picked a good time to start fishing for pink salmon. They start to run in May and you can fish as late as you like because it doesn’t get dark until about 2 a.m. I’ll help you pick out the kind of equipment and clothing you’re going to need.”

            George selected a rod and reel, a net, tackle box, wading boots, thermal socks, and long johns. “Why do I need thermal socks and long underwear in June?”

            “The water temperature in Prince William Sound does not get out of the thirties. You’ll be happy to be wearing them when you wade out into the sound. If you don’t have a sweater or light gloves, you should buy them too.”

            I figured he knew what he was talking about so I kept quiet as my pile kept rising on his counter. When he finished counting and totaling my purchases, he reached behind the counter, opened a wooden box and placed an odd-looking fishing lure in the palm of his hand. A big silver spoon with a big red plastic diamond shaped thingy glued to it, it looked like something that your grandmother used to wear on her chest to church on Sunday.

            “This is the best lure for catching pink salmon. It’s called a pixie. If I were you, I’d guard it with my life. I’m running out of them and I don’t know when I’ll get new ones in stock.”

            I asked him how many I could have and he agreed to sell me six for six dollars each. I started asking him about places to fish, but he stopped me and called over an Eskimo guy hanging around the store. “Hey, Billy, come tell this guy where to fish.”

            Billy and I got to talking and he agreed to meet me the next night at a camp-ground located on the shoreline. We seemed to hit it off and became regular fishing buddies. Also, it didn’t take long for me to realize just how valuable Billy was to me. The first thing I noticed that night was that when I cast my pixie out into the water, it kept going down and down and down. I asked Billy what was going on.

            “After about ten feet, the bottom drops 500 to 600 feet. If you wander out too far and take the plunge, you’ll have about five minutes left to live.”

I became a good angler catching five to ten fish each night which I cut loose or gave to people staying in the camp-ground who gathered to watch the master fisherman. I usually traded the fish for a cold beer and a relaxing chat with these tourists and retirees in their trailers, campers and RVs. The fishing alleviated my boredom from the seemingly endless task of settling claims. I only regretted losing my pixies which made me feel badly as my supply dwindled.

            One night while fishing with Billy, I cast out my next to last pixie. It didn’t hit the water and my rod started to jerk away from me pulling skyward. “What the hell…,” I shouted as I looked up. To my astonishment, I realized that I had hooked a sea gull on its butt. People on the bank shouted at me to cut the line, but all I could think of was my six- dollar pixie attached to a bird that was maneuvering like an out-of-control kite. Up and down, it flew screeching like all hell as we continued our struggle. I had to let out line fearing that the tension would break it and the gull would make off with my pixie. Finally, it went straight up then came crashing down onto the bank to the oohs and ahs of the crowd who were watching the show.

            I ran out of the water, grabbed onto this pecking and clawing creature who continued to screech for its mother. In desperation, the gull threw up a regurgitated fish onto my boot, but I managed to get a firm grip on its mangy butt to retrieve my pixie. As I stood up, I heard loud and clear, “They’re not very good to eat.”

            Rather embarrassed, I yanked my pixie out of its butt, released the gull who flew away and gave each and every one of my admirers a very low bow.

The Conductor’s Song

John Delach

February 2026. Originally published January 2002

This is one of my two favorite pieces about Brooklyn. These gate trains were taken out of service in 1958 and the el itself ceased operating in 1969 and was torn down south of Broadway.

Clang-clink, clank-clank, cling-clank, clang-clink, four bells, each rung twice, eight repetitions, the sound of the conductors’ song. No two sound the same; each bell identifies the conductor who rang it. Four different conductors play their song every day at each station on the Myrtle Avenue Elevated line.

The train’s crew, four conductors and the driver (or motorman) amble from their rest house at the Bridge Street Station and take their assigned positions on their five-car train. The conductors work outside forcing them to adjust their uniforms to meet their environment. Winter, cold and freezing rain are the worst elements and quilted vests, rubber gloves, ribbed shoes and plastic hat protectors’ help. But, at every station, they must leave the warmth of the coach and return to their position onto the open platforms between each coach.

With a lurch, the gate train leaves Bridge Street and downtown Brooklyn, its courthouses, law offices, the cavernous Dime Savings Bank, department stores like Abraham & Straus, Mays and Martins and its theaters, the Brooklyn Paramount, Fox and the RKO Albee. Nosily, the train crosses Flatbush Avenue and makes its way north through Fort Greene and Bedford – Stuyvesant past tenements and public housing projects, parks, storefronts and schools. Hovering two stories above Myrtle Avenue, trains travel on rails supported by wooden ties and steel beams past windows with open curtains, blinds, or shades revealing living rooms and kitchens, plants, bird cages, furniture, lamps, radios and televisions. Peering from coach windows, passengers glimpse people in their apartments. On hot days, women relaxing on pillows propped on windowsills stare back forcing the voyeurs to avert their eyes in embarrassment.

As the train pulls into a station, each conductor steps between the two platforms and faces the station. Straddling the space between two coaches, he observes the passengers waiting to detrain and board and pulls two iron levers toward him opening the gates. Passengers hurry by and, when all are on board, he takes a final look at the activity on the platform, reverses the levers and closes the gates. Then each conductor in turn performs the same ceremony, pulling the cord to his right ringing the bell on the next platform working toward the front of the train. “Clang-clang” it sings alerting the next conductor that the gates behind him are secured. He yanks the cord twice confirming that his gates are closed. The chorus continues until the final conductor rings a bell in the motorman’s cab signaling him “You have the railroad and it’s okay to go.”

Sparks fly from the third rail, motors strain emitting an electrical odor as coaches move over track joints. Trains cross busy streets active with trackless trolleys, diesel buses, cars, delivery trucks horse, wagons and push carts, relics of a bygone era, Pedestrians J-walk weaving and dodging to avoid colliding with this traffic.

Wooden platforms with ornate Victorian style station houses line the El. Each is named after the street below, many for famous Americans like Washington, Vanderbilt and Franklin.

Afternoon trains carry a melting pot mix of passengers, residents returning to their homes, Black and Hispanic women carrying groceries, their wash or packages from the central post office and German and Italian housewives, together or with children returning to Queens from shopping trips downtown. Post school time trains include high school students, boys from Brooklyn Tech with slide rules, science and engineering textbooks, girls from Dominican Commercial wearing pleated skirts and knee-high socks and boys sporting ties and jackets from St John’s Prep and Bishop Loughlin. Workers from the Brooklyn Navy Yard, tired and dirty, board the train at a station appropriately named Navy Street and brewery workers from Rheingold and Schaefer board at Broadway. The train continues north through Bushwick, crossing into Ridgewood, Queens until it reaches the end of the line at Metropolitan Avenue and the low-density communities and plentiful cemeteries that populate Maspeth and Middle Village.

For 75 years, the melody of the gate train is played until the tide of time and progress stills its sound in 1958. More efficient rebuilt wooden cars requiring only one conductor to operate doors replace the gate trains and the gatemen. For eleven more years trains continued to roll. Then in 1969, to the relief of all who live there, the Myrtle Avenue El meets the same fate as the gate trains did and is demolished south of Broadway.

Sunlight returns to a 35-block stretch Myrtle Avenue after years of perpetual darkness and the relative quiet of a Brooklyn street replaces the repetitive noise of passing trains. Still neighborhoods like Fort Greene, Clintonville and Bed-Sty struggled through economic downturns, the drug invasion capped by crack and other crises. Now these neighborhoods are changing once again as gentrification takes hold. Ready or not Brooklyn is back.

In 2016 my daughter, Beth, her husband, Tom and their two children, Marlowe and Cace move into a brand-new apartment building on the corner of Flushing Ave. and Vanderbilt Avenue across the street from the old Brooklyn Navy Yard and two blocks from Myrtle Avenue. There is nothing visual to indicate that the elevated structure was once there.

New York, New York: Part One

February 2026 (Originally published November, 2002)

“New York, New York, it’s a hell of a town,

The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down,

The people ride around in a hole in the ground…”

A New York Minute is defined as the millisecond it takes from the time a traffic light turns green until a NY driver beeps his horn at the car in front of him.

Dick Schaap coined the expression, “Fun City.” John Lindsay called it, “The fastest track in the world.” For your pleasure, here are  stories the New York Times will never include in The Metropolitan Diaries.

Commotion at Hearld Square

I am walking south on Sixth Avenue (A New Yorker never calls it The Avenue of the Americas) destination Penn Station. At about 36th Street, I realize that there is hardly any northbound traffic. Instead, I witness a sea of flashing lights from atop cop cars, fire trucks and other emergency vehicles gathered across Broadway and Sixth at 33rd Street. In the twilight, the lights multiply in intensity as they bounce off the windows of ground floor stores and shops.

I ask a bored cop leaning across a barricade, “What’s up?”

“It’s (bleeping) Con Edison. They tore up a steam pipe. Last week it was the (bleeping) Arabs, next week, it will be (bleeping) Sharpton.” He shrugs, “All the same to me, I get overtime no matter who it is.”

The New Hotel

The Times Square Marriot Marquis Hotel was designed around a unique central atrium. The glass elevators, mounted on the exterior of a central concrete column provide a continuous view of the atrium. The column was constructed first, before steelwork began. It ascended as a solitary structure and I watched its progress each morning on my walk to work. What was this thing? One morning I knocked on the door of the construction trailer. “What is it?”

“It’s a (bleeping) rocket and we’re shooting it off at noon.” Came the reply as the door slammed shut.

Barney

Barney was a veteran LIRR Conductor nearing retirement. One morning the 6:24 AM train out of Port Washington pulled into the Plandome Station and an elderly woman boarded. Once the doors had closed, Barney made his way over to her to collect her fare. “Conductor, could you please tell me what time this train arrives at Grand Central Station?”

“Lady, you are on the wrong (bleeping) railroad.”

Izzy and the Hippe

It is 1970. I am standing inside United Salvage, a junk store in Chatham Square. I represent an insurance company and my purpose is to negotiate the sale of water damaged and rusted wire cutters. The Kauffman brothers are skilled traders and Izzy Kauffman holds out for a lower price. A young “hippie” woman waiting to purchase a stained and slightly moldy pair of boots interrupts us. “Excuse me, how much do these cost?”

 “$3.00,” Izzy tells her brusquely.

She accepts hands him the money and he offers her a paper bag. Waving it away, she says, “Save a tree.”

The incredulous look on Izzy’s face is priceless. “Save a tree? Save a tree! What are you a crazy person? Get the (bleep) out of my store and stay out.”

On the Road Again, Vol. One, Part Two

John Delach

February 2026

Miami One: December 5, 1993

Four of us attended the game that became known as Miami One, Michael and me, Steve B and Doctor Mike.

We stayed at the Pan American Resort, in North Miami. The price was right for a beach-front resort and we soon realized that this place had all of the makings of what was once an upscale facility.

The Pan American Resort had clearly slipped from the top of the hill from where it once was. Everything about it was either old or out of service. The staff were less than diligent and fixtures  seemed in need of repair or replacement. Most of the guests were foreign tourists from Europe and we quickly realized that the Pan American’s first language was German, second, Spanish and finally, English with a British accent. Setting all of this aside, the price was right and it was perfect for us.

We really stepped up to the plate for dinner at Joe’s Stone Crab Claws on Miami Beach and finished our night at a so-called gentleman’s club.

It was a large establishment in North Miami and one of my buds discovered an un-occupied raised VIP lounge where we could view the action in over-sized upholstered chairs mounted on wheels. It was a rather neat place to be until I decided to back up to get a better view.

Little did I know that there was an open staircase directly behind me and before I knew it, I was rocketing down eight or nine steps like I had been ejected from a jet fighter. Fortunately, I went straight down and my oversized cocoon protected me including my neck and head when I landed on the floor.

Doctor Mike checked me out and we grabbed a couple of bouncers who helped to extract me. That was enough for me for one night.

On Sunday, the Giants beat the Dolphins at Joe Robbie Stadium: Big Blue 19, Fish 11.   

Miami Two: December 8, 1996

Our flight out from Newark Airport was a near-disaster. Our weather was great for flying, but north of us where most of U.S. Airways flights originated had been clobbered by lake-effect snow. The US Air check-in line was ridiculously long and most passengers walked away, out of luck.

We agreed to divide our group, a few of us remained on line while the majority checked out other carriers. Dr. Mike led the one at American Airlines together with my son. By luck, my group reached the US Air counter the same time as they reached the American counter and my 6’5’ son signaled me that American could accommodate us.

 I instructed US Air agents to send our tickets to American and Dr. Mike convinced their clerks to accept them for a flight inbound from Chicago to Newark, then on its way to Lima, Peru via Miami. It turned out, the airplane was virtually empty on the leg to Miami allowing us to party on.

Unbelievable! That was the most incredible escape from an airline cancellation that I ever made.

We had the largest group of Giants fans on this road trip, ever: eleven of us: Me, my son, Mike, my cousin, Bob, his brother, Bill and Bill’s two sons, Bill JR and Tom. Steve B, Dr. Mike, Dr. Joe and Mike Cruise.  

We stayed again at the Pan American Resort, in North Miami. It was almost as we found it in 1993, but further down the hill. (It would soon become a high-rise condo.)

I treated my cousin Bob and he roomed with my son.

On Saturday morning Bob and I rented a wave-runner from the place’s water sports concession. I started out as the driver and after about twenty minutes, I shut down the throttle and asked Bob if he wanted to take a turn?

Bob gladly accepted my offer and we began maneuvering to change positions. I am clueless as to what we did wrong, but the wave runner flipped over and we found ourselves floating in the Atlantic Ocean.

We both had life vests on so no panic ensued. “Shit,” I exclaimed as I turned to Bob, “Now all we have to worry about is sharks.”

Bob looked at me with a serious look on his face, “ John, you forget, I can’t swim!”

”Damn, you know that life preserver won’t help you when the sharks come.”

Fortunately, the guy from the water sports concession came out to help us. He stabilized our machine so we could safely climb back on board.

We had too many guys in our party to return to Joe’s restaurant in Miami Beach so Steve directed our van’s driver to a stone crab eatery in Coral Gables. I was sitting next to Uncle Bob who asked about stone crabs. Why? Well Uncle has an allergy to shell fish and has had some tough episodes with lobsters, etc. He never had stone crabs and decided to try them.

As we entered the restaurant, I whispered to the two docs to be on the lookout, should his allergies kick in. The look on their faces was a combination of misery and dread, but fortunately for Uncle Bob, the two docs and the rest of us, his allergies didn’t kick in. Hallelujah!

Our team pulled themselves together for the game the next day, we picked up food and beverages and made our way to the Dolphins Stadium now named Hard Rock but back then, Joe Robbie Stadium. Again, we were lucky and Big Blue won by a score of 17 to 7.

The ride back to the airport the next morning had its moments. The expressway was clogged with traffic so the driver took back roads which led us past a high school in a rough section of Miami as it emptied out. The street became full of scary kids and our driver didn’t help when took out a gun and told us, “Don’t worry.”

DON’T WORRY! Good grief!

Fortunately, nothing happened and we had an uneventful flight home..